Well well well ???

As I reajust my silver bangles to stop them from hitting together on the computer desk, which is casuing my 6 week old son to sitr, and also from upon returning to see what my 7 and 3 year old are fighting about at the collage table I write this>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..
I hear the traffic outside and its 5.19pm rush hour on a Thur's, i wonder where everyone is going or what they are thinking about as they travel home? There first glass of wine for the night? Putting there feet up? Un packing there shopping for the day? Seeing all the wonderful things they have brought, to make themselves feel better, look better, be better?
Or is it off for there hit, Mary Jane, p, paint, speed, the list goes on. Then there is me who things about all these things not for the present but for the past, the life I have once lived, that has now passed. laying in the bath previous thinking about how i am towards people, my life, my words, my actions, have been all sculpted today by the life i have so far lead and the things i have done, the people that have come into, out and in some cases back into my life.
I wonder when i will go threw the major THING in every ones life, this could be a loved one passing, a relationship break up, a accident. I wish sometimes i could tell the future. So i could just be prepared... I was once spontaneous.... where has that gone, has child birth taken this away? I want it back please spontanousism if this is a word leads to fun, excitement, and gives us something to talk about. Do we need money to be spontaneous??